takethewesttraintopanicstation: On a scale from Will Smith to Amanda Bynes how much have you changed in the past 10 years
ticklishbutts: theladyofpie: ticklishbutts: the Cold War is basically just the United State and the Soviet Union saying how big of a penis they have but when it comes down to it neither of them actually want to flash the other to show for fear the other actually does have a bigger penis Holy shit, that’s spot on I don’t post faulty penis analogies so of course it is
methlabrador: when people say “i dont believe in science” what are you even talking about
Today in gym class we were doing major climbing and halfway up this girl freezes and goes “I CAN’T DO IT I CAN’T DO IT” so some dude yells “MY AUNT SAID DAT AT HER WEDDIN’ BUT SHE MARRIED DAT FINE-ASS DOCTOR AND NOW SHE RICH AS HELL” the girl did it. truly inspiring.
partybarackisinthehousetonight: partybarackisinthehousetonight: a bunch of the guys in my grade got together and bought their own url so they could have a website but literally the only purpose of the website is to see pictures of dads in hats i wasn’t kidding this is the website
epic-humor: lucifersblog: twerkola: twerkola: my mom was just like “i just realized “devil” is evil with a d” EVIL WITH A D she still doesn’t realize why i was laughing so hard I do.
grumpcatblys: happilymourning: thatsqualitystuff: we were taking our math test and i turned around and can we just talk about not only whatever is all over that girl’s face, but the guy charging his phone in the back and the kid on the right who looks like he’s in immense pain this picture is like the perfect description of school tho is no one going to mention the girl knitting a...
thebatteur: once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
best-of-funny: vulpiss: datkarkatass: ...
hurricane-emily: jimgaffigan: Ladies I hope getting your nails done feels good because not a single man notices you got them done. maybe just maybe women do some things for themselves and not just for men what a concept
bluntasaurus-sex: dameofspace: pandyssian: OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme became something like this: my life is a lie.
Blogger: #OMG LOOK AT THAT #LOOK AT THAT LOOK #YOU CAN SEE THE PAIN AND EMOTION IN THEIR EYES OF HOW MUCH IT HURT THAT SHE STOLE THE ONLY THING THEY SHARED TOGETHER #THAT ONE LOOK AT THE GROUND SYMBOLIZES EVERYTHING UGH IT EVEN REFLECTS HOW THEY FEEL THAT BARELY ANYONE CARES ABOUT THEM #THAT THEIR PAST IS ALMOST TOO HEAVY TO HOLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS #FLAWLESS ACTING I FUCKING CANT #ITS LIKE THEYRE FALLING AND NO ONE CAN SAVE THEM
Actor: I was told to look down while acting sad.
nbcemployee: the uglier the snapchat, the closer the friendship
swagony: if theres one thing school taught me its never touch the underside of a desk
carry-on-my-wayward-butt: charlesdutton: my mom’s boyfriend is this 6’2 super buff macho dude with many facial piercings who enjoys death metal and i just came downstairs and found him crying because they had to put down a dog on animal cops i like him keep him
super-wolves: google street view is the best, example:
lespreg: shopping carts in random places make me sad there is nothing for you there friend
the-vashta-nerada: waffeey: the-vashta-nerada: i was biking for a long time yesterday so i went into a smoke shop to buy some water and when i was walking out this white girl in shorts and uggs was like “SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU” and instead of telling her i went in for water i was like “it’s like 70 fucking degrees out and you’re wearing uggs. i don’t trust your judgement” and i rode away on...
mewtoot: i think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that
Person: What state do you live in?
theemptyholmes: theemptyholmes: theemptyholmes: If you ever think your life is bad just remember that when my sister was born my mum threw up on her She knows She’s still pissed off at me and blame all of you
timelordy-teganbreann: timelordy-teganbreann: swim-two-birds: If you’ve never read Shakespeare’s plays, you’re missing out on some quality zingers. are you telling me that shakespeare was doing your mom jokes in his plays who the fuck americanised my spelling of “mum” u lil shit i’m australian i don’t want your eagle freedom i have drop bears and boxing kangaroos u wanna go m8
isis-: offendings: videoweed: embraceyour-weirdness: uoa: do you guys realize we can change our lives any time we want like you can just go ahead and delete ur blog, stop eating meat, shave or head, start running, tell that person you hate why you hate them so much, confess your love to someone and kiss them unexpectedly like why don’t we do that Fear judgement bc deleting your...
toxic-ponies: omfg today in English class we were talking about reading books and some girl shouts ”BOOKS SUCK” and the quietest girl in my class says ”yeah almost as much as you do on the weekends” even the teacher laughed omfg
brainbowunicorn: sucha-retardis: sucha-retardis: what’s the best thing about living in switzerland well the flag is a big plus